In September 2011 - that changed for me, as my daughter, Katrina, was taken from us in a senseless accident. The year following that devastating news - I was lost and thankfully don't remember much. I will not go into to the darkness I found there...but I did have an amazing "thing" happen to me. I was so angry at God...
How could HE do this to her? Me? All of us? What did we do to deserve such a horrible punishment? Some people won't like me admitting this BUT I HATED GOD FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION! Yet....somehow I KNEW I needed Him, so I kept praying to Him. I felt tortured. Hating and Loving the same being?
I honestly was concerned that I was losing my mind. I had never felt suicidal before, yet I did not want to be HERE on this planet any longer. I had lost my zest for life. I read everything I could about what happens after you die. What is heaven like? What are they doing "up there"? Is reincarnation real? All of these things that I had thought little about were now critically important. I prayed hours every day for some light to return to my soul. I needed answers or I knew I would be lost in the abyss.
So many times I've heard that God only gives you what you can handle. BS - I was WAY over my head.
I was drawn into listening to a tenured professor in Phoenix who was researching proof that angels exists (James Van Praagh.com). He was filming them, recording them and documenting that angels are real. After the program I prayed to God to show me - prove to me - that He was real. I needed to know that my daughter was not just gone from this world - but she is STILL here - just in a different form. The program stated the most people would be terrified if indeed they saw an angel so they don't typically appear visually. I NEEDED to see for myself. [I am sure at this point, your wondering if I really am crazy - and I am sure only a few of you will believe me. Nonetheless this is my story and it is the absolute truth - not that it matters IF you believe].
At about 2:30 am I awoke KNOWING someone was in my bedroom. My heart was racing and I was afraid to open my eyes. I took a deep breath thinking my dogs should be barking - if someone was indeed in my room. Standing to the right of my bed, about 3 feet from the foot of my bed stood a HUGE creature. He was taller than my window, he had white very large wings that almost hit my 14 foot ceiling. He was wearing a white robe, with a blue sash around his waist. He had his hands together and was holding an odd object. It was round, a metal of some kind - it reminded me of the top of a wisk - not solid, and not easy to describe. I was very drawn to the object but didn't recognize it. I sat up wanting to be fully alert, I looked around my room to get my bearings. I looked to the right, and he was still there.
Apprehensively, I finally looked at his face. He had a very stern, yet peaceful and pleasant, chiseled face. He was not smiling, nor did he move his mouth as I heard him speak. Being raised Catholic, I was always told I had a guardian angel - but I had in my mind they would be sweet looking. Perhaps more cherub, or gentle. This angel had a strong jawline, like the men in the movie "300". He made me feel very safe.
I once again looked at the object in his hand, trying to remember what I was seeing. I asked what his name was, and he responded, "Once you know what this object is you will know my name." He said he had brought me a message. He said, "Nothing happens in this lifetime, especially something negative, WITHOUT YOUR PRIOR APPROVAL, INCLUDING YOUR DEATH".
He said the worst is past me now, and he would always be there to protect me.
I was struggling with his message. Was he saying that Katrina had approved to die? Agreed to move forward? I was really struggling with that concept. He stayed a moment longer...I could feel his love surround me, I felt safe, protected and guarded.
I got out of bed, went into the living room and reviewed what had just happened. I wanted to call someone, but it was in the middle of the night. Who would believe me anyway? I was shaking - yet peaceful. I cried and wasn't sure how to process his information. My mom wakes up early, so as soon as I felt reasonable, I called her and told her what happened. She instantly said, It wasn't Katrina the person who approved of her passing - it was her soul. That made sense.
Weeks later my son, Bradley, came into town. I wanted to tell him in person. I didn't want him to think his mother had lost her mind. He had already lost his sister, he didn't need to lose me too. He, like my mother, believed what I told him - thankfully! As we drove to one of our favorite restaurants in Dallas, Campisi's - he listened to my story and was on the internet. Much to my amazement, within minutes shows me an image of an Archangel, named, Metatron. He is a very large angel and holds a cube. I was not familiar with him, but that was definitely who I saw in my room that night.
This encounter opened my heart and my world - and renewed my faith in God.
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| Me & my son, Bradley |
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| Metatron's Cube |
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| Jewish, Archangel, Metatron holding his cube |
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